Candy for All!

I’ll just come out and say it. No shame here at all. I play Pokémon Go.

Why? Well there is something satisfying about catching a Pokémon in the so-called wild. Wild is not really the word… environment. Yeah, that covers the gambit of areas.

My favorite part of the game is actually hatching eggs. To hatch an egg the player has to walk and appropriate distance and then BAM the egg hatches. Oh yeah, you need an incubator as well to digitally simulate the warm rump of a Pokémon. I actually do not know what Pokémon do with their eggs in the wild, but hey it is really not all that important at least for this conversation.

Hey, which came first the Pokémon or the egg? Never mind.

Some additional aspects of the mobile game are to level your Pokémon up with “stardust” and “candy” and to evolve them with just “candy.”

Based on other games I have played, it totally makes sense that “stardust” would make a Pokémon more powerful. However, the “candy” has me baffled.

Why “candy” and where do the Pokémon get it in such plentiful amounts? All right. Maybe I am being a little ridiculous about this. It is a game after all and that means the game can have any rules it wants.

Ah the hell with it. Everyone is thinking it.

It takes an ample amount of “candy” to evolve a Pokémon right? To evolve a Magikarp into Gyarados it takes 400 “candy”. Dang, that is a lot of “candy.” I once ate a pound of gummy worms in one day and that ruined me. Gummy worms went in and then over the course of a day or so they all came out the same way. Not looking the same mind you.

Anyway, if I were to say that the whole “candy” thing makes sense I just can’t reconcile one thing.

If the Pokémon are consuming unnatural amounts of “candy” to power up and evolve, why don’t they have more cavities? I have played the game for a while now and all of my Pokémon have perfect teeth. Some don’t have teeth, but for the ones that do it’s nothing short of a miracle.

It really just baffles me. This is just like a 3-hour movie, where no one uses the bathroom once. Sure we assume they go at some point in time, but it is as if they are exempt from the laws of nature.

Do I want the Pokémon under my care to have cavities? Do I want to subject them to the rigors of going to the dentist for regular cleanings? The clear answer is a clear emphatic “no.”

So bravo Niantic, Inc. for creating a virtual world where funny little Pokémon can not only fight amongst themselves to gain their trainers prestige, but to never ever be plagued by cavities.


Posted in Random Thoughts | Leave a comment

Dog Hair in the Water

Like all people that own dogs that shed copious amounts of hair, I am writing this small blog post to vent my frustration. My wonderful dog is a black Labrador Retriever and his hair is like tiny needles that thread their way into every part of my life.

My dog’s resilient fur even haunts me at work. Mostly likely the hair hitched a ride on my clothes, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal itself in my bowl of Quaker Strawberry and Cream Instant Oatmeal. Upsetting, but not a deal breaker.

In many respects, I have become so used to my dog’s hair being everywhere I am rarely surprised any more. However, I would not be writing this post if there weren’t those small, but powerful instances were a single hair shakes me out of my all accepting-ness of a fur infused world.

Everyone has some sort of nightly ritual or routine that they run through before they go to bed. Some are simple and some are complex. My routine I think runs somewhere in the middle. A major component of that routine for me is to make sure I have a glass of water on my nightstand within arms reach. I usually drink it through the course of the night and in the event I don’t, I make sure I finish it in the morning.

The most important thing to note is that I get my water right before I go to bed. This delicious room temperature water comes from our ceramic water dispenser. The water it contains is not exposed to the elements (a.k.a. my dog’s needle like hair). However, by the time I have walked to the stair case, ushered my dog to go upstairs and followed suit, set my glass of water down, gotten ready for bed, then finally got into bed myself, there floating on the surface of my delicious room temperature water is a single dog hair.

Gaaaaah! This always gets me. After the initial sighting and the anger that follows, begins the saga of trying to fish the darn thing out. Laboriously, I try to pinch that little sucker between my index finger and thumb. All the while hoping I don’t accidentally push the hair below the surface of the water sending it to the bottom of the glass. Another method I employ is to use my finger to push the hair towards the side of the glass and then move it up the side.

In any case, I have to say it is a super frustrating exercise to go through when all you want is to have that last gulp of water before you slide under the covers and go to sleep.

In the event that the dog hair does submerge and sinks to the bottom of the glass, I don’t waste the water and pour it out. I still drink it, knowing that I may end up swallowing the dog hair when I sleepily take a drink in the wee hours of the morning.

This is the price one pays to have a wonderful big ham of a dog. Although it is frustrating, surprising, and sad, I would take a hairy glass of water any day rather than not have my big black dog in my life.

Posted in Journeys | Leave a comment