I have been meaning to write about this since it first popped into my mind. However, for some reason it finds a way to slip from my mind or delve into my deepest subconscious where I do not have access to it. I am going to go with the subconscious route. It sounds cool and it leads into the next part.

So the thought sits in stews in my cerebrum, biding its time to make itself known again. Today of all days the thought finally came to me in all its splendor as I arrived home.

The weather has been sporadic at best as of late. There have been a lot of rainy days sprinkled with days of sun. As a result there is a ridiculous amount of pollen and dust floating around, which is playing havoc with my nose. I have a slight case of allergies and in weather like this my nose is like a volcano—lots of eruptions and heavy flows of clear snot. Yep it is gross.

Ironically enough this is when that amazing thought in all its splendor decides to come to me. What is one of the first things that happens after I sneeze? Well, I have to blow my nose. This is a normal human function. I grab a tissue and using my hands clamp it firmly across my nose, inhale deeply, and then let it rip. SUCCESS! The snot finds its way to the tissue, which I make into a wad and promptly throw away (sometimes I view my handy work before the toss). The day is won.

I would like to say that the snot evacuation always goes that well, but on occasion it takes a turn for the worse. It is during these trying times that I remember what I wanted to write about. So here it is.

“Don’t blow your nose with your mouth open!”

I have had this happen so many times it is disturbing. I can only surmise that I get caught up in the heat of the moment. Stumbling across the room to grab that small soft square of delight. Fumbling with the tissue in hand awaiting the relief after I have cleared my stuffy nose. Then BAM, a tasty treat has entered my mouth. So salty and disgusting. I never understood those kids that feasted on their own nose gold. The taste is not appealing at all. Maybe if it was like Turkish delight…yeah maybe.

Oops! Sorry for the tangent. Back to the story. My immediate reaction each time is to spit out the crusty flake. If your nose is runny, well I will just say that is a real treat and leave it at that. In any event the experience is unpleasant.

I can only hope, that next time I will remember to inhale and then firmly seal my lips before exhaling through my nose. I also hope that this is a good word of warning. Don’t follow my footsteps. Avoid a tasty treat at all costs.

And…

Don’t blow your nose with your mouth open! EVER!